Monday, 29 Nov 2021

Six Shades Of The Buhari Presidency By Saheed Animashaun

Different Nigerians view the performance of the Buhari-led administration with diverse lenses.

To some, Buhari is The Immaculate, The Perfect! while to others, he is the worst thing to have happened to Nigeria after the civil war!

After careful speculation, I present to you the top six categories of Nigerians you will find in the Buhari dispensation.

1. The Praise Singers – Just like a golden fish has no hiding place, this group is easily identifiable. They are the Buhari-can-never-be-wrong crew. In their eyes basically, Buhari is a demi-god who is infallible. In fact, it doesn’t matter to them that they have believed something to be wrong all their lives. The moment Buhari does it, it becomes right!

They have employed all sorts of tactics to advance their bizarre standpoint. Anybody that dare criticizes the President is tagged “Corruption-fighting back,” “wailing wailer,” “enemy of progress,” or some other names. They have gone to incredible lengths to defend many seemingly indefensible actions and inactions of the President. This group are masters in the art of conspiracy theories. They preposterously posit that GEJ created Boko Haram to decimate the North.

They would have left no words unsaid if a GEJ had skipped the burial of fallen heroes (Late Lt. Col. Abu Ali amongst others) for a visit to Edo.

Another instance is when Buhari failed to fulfill his promise of releasing details of looted funds recovered (including the name of looters and amount returned). This group conjured up the flimsiest of excuses to defend this act. While the Shiites have a portion of the blame, they have stoutly defended the massacre of Shiites in Kaduna and some other parts of the North.

Dodoism is the new epidemic in Nigeria. The presidential cluelessness inherited from the previous administration is fast becoming airborne, and this group of psychopathic sycophants are the most vulnerable

If the Buhari government ends up failing after four years (and I sincerely hope that this doesn’t happen), this group would have contributed immensely to the failure. Many of his close aides belong to this group.

2. The Die-Hard Ranters –

This is another group highly susceptible to Dodoism. This group is a readymade tool for any opposition politician. Beg them, sermonize them, bring Jesus Christ to show them any good side of the PMB’s administration, LAYE LAYE; dem no go gree. They are diehard ranters!

This set of people, even after eighteen months, have not gotten over the loss of their hero (GEJ). In their warped thinking, they believe that the recession wouldn’t have occurred if Uncle “Clueless” was still in power. They still do not realize that with their hero still in power, Nigeria would definitely have been put up for auction.

This group of people specialises in churning out conspiracy theories. The most of recent of their depravities is their spreading of the outrageous claim that Buhari sponsored Hillary Clinton’s Presidential campaign with $500M!

If you believe this, you are definitely an illiterate; it doesnt matter if you have a Ph.D.

To this group, everything Buhari does is wrong. Anytime an official of the previous government is arrested on an allegation of corruption; they fill the air with chants of ‘witch-hunting.’ Even when it’s clear that such individual has returned a portion of the loot, they still claim that it’s witch-hunting.

To this group, the activities of Boko Haram have dwindled because to them their sponsor “Buhari” is in power. Another patent nonsense they spew out is to say that Buhari promised to make $1 = N1. Till date, none can provide an exact quote of Buhari where he supposedly made that pledge! Even after some Chibok girls have been released, they still stick to their theory that they were never kidnapped!

They are happy that this government is failing and hope and pray hard that it remains so till 2019. The goal is that they want to be able to boastfully say “we told you, Jonathan is the best president Nigeria has ever had”. They hope to be able to add the annoying cliché “you do not know the value of what you have until you lose it”.

3. The Tinubuist – The average member of this group does not give a damn about the state of the country. All they are concerned with is whether Buhari is on good terms with APC National leader Bola Ahmed Tinubu. Their only worry is that Tinubu remains influential and is not sidelined at the federal level. Even if Buhari performs well, they are ready to move with Tinubu if he forms another party.

A significant chunk of this group was instrumental to the ludicrous #IStandWithTinubu walk that was held recently in Lagos. I find chronic members of this group pathetic! How on God’s earth is how you perceive the Buhari-led government tied to how close he remains to one man!

4. The Covert Wailers – This is a group fast gaining followers. They are “wailers” by heart but temper it with occasional lauding of some of Buhari’s feats so far. They would criticize 99% of what the President does and reserve a lame mention for any glaring feat achieved by the government in power. They hate being tagged “wailing-wailers”; this is why they have resorted to faintly highlighting some positive actions of this government.

This group always gladly anticipate blunders of the government and release their ever-ready vitriolic when it happens.

5. The Humble Pie Eaters – This group of people campaigned vigorously for Buhari during the last elections. They did not necessarily view him as an ideal candidate; they only saw him as better than the clueless GEJ.

So far, they have been roundly disappointed. Some have resorted to taking solace in silence, practically retreating into a shell in shame.

Some others have relentlessly launched tirades of criticisms at this hope-sapping administration. They staunchly support the anti-corruption war, even though they believe that it may be one-sided.

They are also quick to dismiss The Die-hard Ranters and Praise-singers.

6. The “No-be-my-business” Crew – This is a group that houses perhaps the majority. Due to successive government failures, they have completely given up hope in any government. Governance to them is simply a tool for the powerful to exploit the weak. They believe nothing can be done about the status quo and have resigned the fate of Nigeria to prayers.

They hardly vote; however, they ensure they milk politicians as dry as possible, especially during campaigns. They see it as the only opportunity to get back a chunk of their national cake, however small.

A number of them would only vote when their ‘son’ is contesting. They would rather have their son loot the national treasury than any other person.

Ultimately, the change that Nigerians crave isn’t likely to emanate from any government house. It begins with getting it at right at the micro level.
It may be a long and arduous journey, but the fact remains that the larger society will only become ideal when we make deliberate efforts to make things right at our inner circles.

Saheed Animashaun (@ani_gene) is an Accountant and Social commentator.

He can be reached via saheed.animash@gmail.com

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